Over the holidays, my hippie parents and activist sister accused me of having “sold out.” It’s funny because I actually went to law school to practice human rights law and ended up on Bay Street instead. Am I going to hell?
— Sarah
There there, Sarah. You are merely experiencing the normal post-traumatic symptoms of spending too much time with family over the holidays. I also have a tendency to get a tad philosophical post-holidays. Welcome to the anonymous club of recovering social justice crusaders turned corporate lawyers. We are a tortured bunch, walking clichés, prestige whores who have long ago relinquished any shred of personal integrity for six figures and bragging rights. The good news is that if you still experience momentary pangs of remorse, then congratulations, you have a soul! I am being facetious, of course, but here is my point, Sarah: either your moral contrition is misplaced or you need to self-examine by asking some perfectly legitimate questions about what are you willing to do for a buck.
As a summer student, I remember complaining to my associate mentor about being trapped in a boardroom all weekend doing due diligence for a pharmaceutical company. I actually said that I “felt dirty.” I will never forget his response: “If you don’t like it, just quit. The doors are not locked.” He also said something like: “Is it possible that maybe, just maybe, you might be grossly overestimating your own ability to influence world events by doing your job? If you can’t stomach participating in the very system that provides you with all of your First World comforts and privileges, move to Cuba. Good luck finding a Starbucks or a Walmart. Now please stop whining.”
I felt like Anne Hathaway in The Devil Wears Prada. Plus, I was kind of insulted by the suggestion that I shop at Walmart (I do). My mentor’s little speech put things in perspective, however. Is it possible to work for the so-called evil corporation and delude one’s self that one is merely playing an inconsequential role in the evil empire? Does the fact that you are aware of this and continue to work for the Bay Street firm, the tobacco company or the big pharma make you all the more contemptible? I make no value judgment in raising these questions. Ultimately, these are important and intensely private questions about your moral barometer. Someone once said to me: as long as you love what you do, it doesn’t have to be noble. I don’t know if I agree with this statement but I believe that we should all get to decide for ourselves whether it’s true.
Sarah, there is no rule requiring that what you do for a living be meaningful in a larger cosmic sense or contribute to the betterment of humankind. None. Don’t expect your job to fulfil every deep need that you have as a human being. Remember that one thing does not preclude the other. Give back outside of work by volunteering. Play an active role in your firm’s corporate responsibility and pro-bono programs. However, if meaning is what you crave most in your job, go work for Human Rights Watch. The pay sucks, but you will get meaning.
Sandra Rosier is a former Supreme Court of Canada clerk who has worked at large firms in Toronto and Boston. Having come to her senses, Sandra currently practices tax law at a smallish Toronto firm. Her etiquette column for lawyers appears every other Monday at lawandstyle.ca. Got a question for Sandra? Email us.
Photo by Garry Knight