In a codicil to last week’s column, a commentator named “Old Prof” suggested that wine lovers could educate their noses by spending some time in an organic chemistry lab. Smelling a test tube filled with simple esters, for example, would give you a read on the ripe bananas wafting from cheap Beaujolais Nouveau. Graduate to a vial of more complex esters, and you would be able to isolate the floral notes that characterize a good Ontario Riesling.
I know this sounds exciting, but hold on a minute before you bust out your lab coat. The Old Prof is bang on when he suggests that a set of chemicals could be used to calibrate your nose. But he is naïve if he assumes that he can come up with a wine gimmick that has not already been marketed by the high-end merchants whose fortunes are built upon the growing enthusiasm for fine wine. In fact, he is twenty years too late. Jean Lenoir, a French wine expert, has long been producing sets of “Le Nez Du Vin ” – little vials that peg the archetypal flavours of wine, like “vanilla”, “lilac” and even “lychee”. His sets are meant to be reference points for sommeliers, wine-makers and amateur enthusiasts.
It goes without saying “Le Nez Du Vin” is the perfect gift for the wine nut that you love. They retail for between $120 and $540, depending on how many aromas you want at your disposal – some kits are geared to white or red wine smells, others to the flavours of “new oak”, and there’s one master set with 54 vials. You can find them at places like The Wine Establishment in Toronto.
My favourite set is one called “Faults”, comprising the 12 smells associated with spoiled wine, with vials delightfully labelled “mouldy earth”, “cauliflower” or “horse”. Why bother drinking bad wine when the lights of perverted science can distil it into a toxic essence that is available for smelling at any time of the day or night? This Christmas, I’m buying “Faults” for my brother, whom I despise.
What am I giving to people I like this Christmas? That’s easy. Taylor Fladgate 10-Year-Old Tawny Port (Vintages Essentials, #121749) is a beverage that everyone will love. It has a spicy caramel complexity that connoisseurs will appreciate, but it is light and mellow enough that even your grandmother will find it tasty and accessible. It is a bit of a luxury at $33.95, but worth every penny for a festive splurge; I would drink it by the case if I could. It has the added advantage of being available at nearly all Vintages, so it’s a real saviour for last minute shoppers. Plus it keeps well, even when opened. To go that extra mile, drink it with a foetid slice of Stilton. If you have no Stilton, substitute a nice vial of “mouldy earth”.
Matthew Sullivan is a lawyer with the Department of Justice in Toronto. He writes a weekly blog entry here on lawandstyle.ca. The Short Cellar column appears in the print edition of Precedent. Matthew can be reached at matthew@lawandstyle.beta-site.ca.