Power lunch etiquette

The dos and don'ts of dining out with clients
The dos and don'ts of dining out with clients

 When I first moved to an “in-house” position, I contemplated with great relish the prospect of being dined (and occasionally wined) by service providers.

The strictures of company conflict policies and the sheer drudgery of sitting through an hour of relentless uninspired pitching quickly took the bloom off that particular rose. I may not keep track of billable hours, but it certainly feels like my time is far more precious and costly than it ever was in law practice.

Being on the client side of things has given me a new appreciation for what is actually at stake: my time and the relationship.

Here are some cardinal sins of client entertainment I have personally endured:

  • Arriving late and very sweaty
  • Checking Blackberry every few minutes
  • Drinking too much
  • Talking too much
  • Pretending to be knowledgeable about the client’s business
  • Forgetting your wallet (I’m not kidding)
  • Using a toothpick. To me, pretty much the same as applying deodorant at the dinner table
  • Bringing the firm zombie along for substance. I don’t care if he’s a legend. He’s boring

Here are some tips for how to do it right.

Set the stage for the meal by selecting the right venue: Quiet with seamless, discreet service. Arrive a few minutes early to get settled, go to the restroom for a quality check and welcome the client when she arrives. Let serving staff know that you will need 15 minutes uninterrupted to look at the menu once your guest arrives.

Stand up to greet the client. Pulling out a chair for a female client is discretionary. A famous TV character once said that the age of chivalry may not be dead but it is on life support. I’m always pleasantly surprised by such gentlemanly gestures but some women (I’m not one of them) might see it as an act of chauvinism.

Your focus should be on the client, not the menu
. A good rule of thumb is to let the client take the lead in ordering food and alcohol. Start by asking her if she would care for a glass of wine. If she skips the appetizer, do the same. She is signalling that her time is limited. If she decides to have dessert, validate that choice by having desert as well, diet permitting. During the meal, take baby bites so that you are able to respond quickly to questions and to participate actively in the conversation.

Although you may have specific business objectives for this meeting, sharing a meal with a client provides the best platform to get to know them as a person and build relationship. There should be light pitching in the form of questions to the client and discussion about hot topics and her areas of interest which allow you to showcase your expertise.

However, the bulk of the conversation should be dedicated to the soft pitch, where you talk about sports, family, celebrity gossip and topics of common interest. Save substantive presentations for the boardroom.  This isn’t carved in stone but the safest strategy is to let the client dictate the topics and tone.

In an undifferentiated market of high quality legal advisers, a client will always engage the one she most enjoys going out to lunch with. Isn’t that why they elected Dubya?


Sandra Rosier is a former Supreme Court of Canada clerk who has worked at large firms in Toronto and Boston. Having come to her senses, Sandra currently works as a tax advisor at a Toronto-based organization. Have a question for Sandra? Email us.

Image: Wikimedia Commons