Three other female associates confronted me recently and said that my clothes were “too provocative” for the office. I do super tailored suits, always with a skirt, always above the knees and really high heels, because I’m 5 feet tall. I think they’re jealous because I’m hotter than they are. I haven’t heard any one else complain.
— Lindsay Lawhan
Ahhh…the perfect question for the summer season. In anticipation of the detractors who will curl their lips in disgust at my deigning to respond to such a question, let me say this: don’t pretend like you don’t care, ’cause I know you do. This is precisely the sort of thing that appeals to the crass, materialistic and vain dimension in all lawyers. My apologies for the digression, Miss Lawhan, lest I neglect a question of such capital importance to posterity. (And, should there be any doubt, that word does not designate a part of one’s anatomy.)
As for the alleged jealousy of your colleagues, it is entirely within the realm of possibility. Sorry for saying this, but women can be soooo catty. Let’s deconstruct. My theory is that if you and your colleagues were floating around in a capsule in outer space where the only thing to do was shop and get your nails done, the ladies would probably loooove what you’re wearing. Maybe what they resent is not the fact that you look good, taken in isolation. Perhaps they resent the kind of attention that your appearance may be attracting. The reasons behind this resentment might be perfectly legitimate — for instance, if you are inadvertently dragging back the feminist movement to the Stone Ages. No judgment, Miss Lawhan. I’m merely throwing this out there for your consideration.
Other, more subversive forces may also be at play. You see, most lawyers are thinly disguised nerds. Who knows what kind of trauma these poor girls might have suffered in high school at the hands of evil hordes of hot chicks. The mere sight of you might be triggering some kind of post-traumatic stress reaction, causing some really, really bright yet vulnerable and wounded teenager in orthodontic headgear to resurface in bitchy, vengeful retaliation against all the pent-up hurt that you (in all of your innocent hotness) personify. It’s a theory.
Another theory is that, notwithstanding the shrill tone of the message delivered by your colleagues, some self-examination may be in order. I gotta tell ya, the combination of the words “hot” and “law firm” makes me really nervous for you, Miss Lawhan. On a scale of Pam Anderson to Michaëlle Jean (to keep it Canadian), only you can determine whether your “hotness” is attracting the right kind of attention at the office and for the right reasons. Ask a trusted girlfriend for her honest feedback.
I suppose I am of two minds. Did our foremothers not fight against the patriarchy and burn their bras precisely to earn us the right to be hot at the office? Probably not. I have said it before: better to turn down the sexy at the office. It’s distracting and undermines our credibility. Personally, I would rather be considered smart and competent…while wearing a pencil skirt and a smokin’ pair of Stuart Weitzmans. Miss Lawhan, a girl can have it all!
Sandra Rosier is a former Supreme Court of Canada clerk who has worked at large firms in Toronto and Boston. Having come to her senses, Sandra currently works as a tax advisor at a Toronto-based organization. Her etiquette column for lawyers appears every other Monday at lawandstyle.ca. Got a question for Sandra? Email us.
Photo by Marcy Kellar