A colleague at my firm is kind of mean to his assistant. He’s not outright abusive or anything, just very curt and blunt. And I’ve never heard him say thank you. Is he being a jerk, or am I too mushy?
— Aaron
For 2011, I resolve to do my little bit to spread peace on earth and good cheer around me. I hereby challenge you, Aaron, myself and all you other lawyers out there to just be, well…nicer. It’s easy for us to be nice to our superiors. We do this naturally out of a sense of self-interest. But, what’s the point of wishing a good morning to your assistant?
There are at least two good reasons. The first reason is that it is simply the right thing to do. The second reason to be nice is karma. The definitions of karma evolved by Eastern philosophers are as various as they are complex. My definition of karma is: “stuff you do that will come back to bite you in the ass.” If you develop a reputation for being curt and unfriendly to “underlings,” word will get around to the people above you and you will suffer the consequences. That’s karma.
I remember, for example, my first day as a summer associate. We were told to check in at reception. A very young-looking receptionist ushered us into the main boardroom for orientation. She returned minutes later with a folder of materials for each of us. As she was distributing the materials, she accidentally knocked over an associate’s coffee cup, spilling some coffee onto his lap. He stood up abruptly and hissed: “Careful what you’re doing, you twit.” She apologized profusely and left the room looking pretty flustered. That put an end to the small talk around the table and we all waited uncomfortably for orientation to begin. Well, it turns out that Twit was the niece of the firm’s managing partner. The next day, Rude Boy had mysteriously disappeared from the summer program. Nobody ever said that he was fired because of the incident with the receptionist but everybody knew it. Guess who was the real Twit in this story?
Call me a raving idealist, but I happen to believe that receptionists, executive assistants, IT support people, the guys who move the furniture, cleaning staff, everyone in the office is entitled to be treated with respect and dignity. Respect demands, at the very least, that you acknowledge their existence. You might be surprised to learn that “coffee girl” has a name and three more degrees than you do from better schools. If you believe that your assistant is a lower life form, then for the sake of your reputation if not for the principle, I strongly recommend that you endeavour to be unfailingly courteous in your interactions with him. Unkindness towards others is not merely a sign of poor breeding, it can erode your brand at the firm. It can also open you up to highly sophisticated and untraceable forms of sabotage practiced by the selfsame nameless peons whom you have scorned previously. Therefore, dear colleagues, let’s all endeavour to take the old chip off our shoulder in 2011 and be nicer.
Sandra Rosier is a former Supreme Court of Canada clerk who has worked at large firms in Toronto and Boston. Having come to her senses, Sandra currently practices tax law at a smallish Toronto firm. Her etiquette column for lawyers appears every other Monday at lawandstyle.ca. Got a question for Sandra? Email us.
Photo by Lucas Maystre