Yes, its time for the third and final installment of maternity wear for the fashionable.
There is no fashion to be had in the third trimester.
This is the point where most preggies are so sick of it all that they take to wearing their husband’s shirts and the same pair of pants to work everyday for the final two months. And you would cringe to see what I have been wearing to bed – an old pair of my husband’s shorts that I have cut the elastic out of and one of his t-shirts.
It has even come to a point where I had to buy a pair of extra large maternity pants to get me through this last little bit without having the waistband of my pants ingrained into my skin by the end of the day. Guess what? There is no size after XL. It’s sad, readers. Very sad.
You can try dresses. If you don’t mind someone setting up a campfire beside you, roasting marshmallows and singing 
Kumbaya.
Pantyhose or tights? Yeah. Not likely. Lord knows how Catherine Zeta-Jones and Marcia Gay Harden even got up enough energy to get dressed to go the Oscars in their third trimesters, much less fancy dresses.
To make things worse, someone broke into my closet and turned all the tops from my first and second trimesters into midriff-baring sweaters. Clearly a full six inches has been cut off of most of them. Not a good look when you are sporting some serious stretch-marks on your midsection. It’s not hot. It was hot on Denise Richards and Kate Hudson maybe. It’s not hot on you on the subway at 8 a.m.
Long tank tops help; layer them under everything and ensure they are long enough so that when the sweater or shirt rides up, the tank top stays put.
Some people like the over the belly pants; this avoids the belly shirt debacle, but it was too constraining for me.
Inevitably, by month eight you will be wearing the same pair of pants on a regular basis as it will become the only pair that really fits well. Just suck it up and know that the end is near. And pray to God that you are not one of those women who has her baby, runs into a friend a month later and gets asked when you are due.
See you on the other side.
Have a question for the Fashionista? Seek her counsel at fashionista@lawandstyle.beta-site.ca