Not that any of you think this, but I am not made of ideas. Though I will often try out a new recipe so mind-blowing that it simply must be included in a subsequent column, much inspiration for this space comes from others. (Note to regular readers: suggestions are always welcome.)
Recent crowd-sourcing efforts revealed the desire for an Edible Witness devoted to “long sandwiches” (maybe a homemade banh mi column to come?), burgers (shocking that I haven’t done this yet), casseroles (very seasonal), meat turtle (tempting, but I think the Internet has this one covered), and one suggestion for “corned beef hash — the perfect hangover food.”
This last one got me thinking about hangover foods that can be put together brainlessly with limited effort and motor skills (i.e., the basic criteria for when you have a hangover). But then I started thinking about foods you can make after a night out, eight hours before you have a hangover, and here we are. Drunk foods! So… thanks for all your suggestions guys — I am using none of them!
Because I am a normal person, most of my top post-drinking foods are foods that other people make that I buy, or foods that other people partially made and froze that I heat up. But if you’ve made it home after some post-work drinks, and you need to whip up a quick alcohol-absorbent base before you go to bed so you can function the next day, here are a few ideas.
Any items you don’t already have in your pantry you can grab on your next grocery trip, just in case. And of course, you can make any of these while completely sober, or with a hangover, for a very fast and delicious snack.
Egg n’ bacon n’ peas scramble
You’ll need: Eggs, bacon, cheese, frozen peas
Time: 10 minutes
I saw Nigella do this once. She was probably actually drunk when she shot it, and she ate it right out of the pan after. Swoon. Heat up a frying pan on medium, grab a few slices of bacon and cut them into the pan with scissors in big chunks as it heats up. Let the bacon cook and sizzle, then go get some eggs and cheese out of the fridge. If you have frozen peas, even better. Once the bacon is cooked, crack a few eggs in there and stir them around so they get all mixed up (or you can pre-mix in a separate bowl, but probably not because you’ve been drinking). Break off little chunks of cheese and drop them in. Toss in a handful of frozen peas. Stir around. Take the pan off the heat as the eggs are just cooked through, the cheese begins to melt and the peas are cooked (a few minutes tops). Salt and pepper to taste. Eat.
2. Whatever carb you have in the house pizza
You’ll need: Any kind of bread base, grape tomatoes, mozzarella or parmesan cheese, garlic, olive oil.
Time: 15 minutes
In a small frying pan, heat up a tablespoon of olive oil in a pan with a clove of smashed garlic, then add a handful of grape or cherry tomatoes. Cook on medium-high until the skins begin to burst (about 5 minutes). Meanwhile, toast your bread base (oven or toaster, whatever works). You can use leftover baguette, English muffins, pita or any other flatbread). Add salt and pepper to tomatoes to taste, then grate in some mozzarella cheese and stir as it begins to melt (if using parmesan, you can just shave some on top of the tomatoes after you spread them on top of the bread). Spoon mixture on top of toasted bread and spread evenly. Cut bread into manageable pieces. Eat.
For a less sloppy version you can put the tomatoes on top of the bread, grate the cheese over it and then broil it in the oven for 2 minutes.
3. Gourmet popcorn
You’ll need: Popping corn, truffle oil (optional), parmesan cheese.
Time: 10 minutes.
I got this idea from my friend Albert, and was totally irritated that I didn’t think of it first. You can use olive oil instead, but the truffle oil really makes the dish and it’s worth having some around to drizzle on pretty much anything (roasted potatoes, salads, sauteed vegetables, etc.) Just heat enough vegetable oil on the bottom of a large pot with a lid to coat the surface, then add a large handful of popping corn (it expands, so don’t overdo it — just enough to cover the surface of the pot in a single layer). Cover with lid. Once it starts popping, shake the pan so the kernels move around every 10 seconds or so, until there’s less frequent popping (about 5 seconds between). Remove from heat and drizzle with truffle oil, toss gently, then sprinkle with salt and pepper and grated parmesan cheese, tossing between applications to distribute evenly. Transfer to a large bowl. Eat.
Sara Chan is a Toronto-based entertainment lawyer, food enthusiast, unprofessional home chef and even less professional food photographer. Her favourite food group is pork.
Image: Álvaro Canivell (via Wikimedia Commons)