I will be travelling to our office in London with a partner for a closing. We have a good working relationship but he never turns off. This is the kind of guy who is still talking to me about a deal while I’m sitting on the can in the men’s room. Remember the boss from Office Space? The partner had his secretary prepare a list of the best restaurants for every evening we’re in London. I have close friends there that I was hoping to see! Did I mention that I’m sitting beside him on the plane? What’s the proper “Bar Code” for this? – Flight Risk
Flight Risk, I admit that since you are sitting with your partner on the flights, you’ve got a problem. People, this is why you always go see the admin who is booking the flight and make sure that you are seated beyond visual range. Tell her that you have serious flatulence issues and don’t want to lose your job or that you are scared of flying and would rather not embarrass yourself in front of the partner. She will understand. If you are dealing with a travel agency, you won’t even have to make stuff up.
I assume that you would rather eschew the more expedient pharmaceutical solution to the flight conundrum? That’s a rhetorical question, which in no way advocates that you slip a roofie in his scotch. I discovered during a long-hall flight with my boss that even in executive class, most humans will tend to doze off eventually with or without medication. I can’t imagine how people cope in cattle class. I shudder at the mere thought. Flight Risk, I presume that this is one less thing you have to worry about if you’re travelling with a partner.
This guy sounds pretty hardcore. You will need to deploy some clever Jujitsu moves. Right at the start of the flight, once you are settled into your seats, strike a pre-emptive blow. Communicate your flight plan. For instance, you might say “Grendel, would you mind if we go over a few things on the file before I catch up on my emails (that should take you to the first meal service). By the way did you see Planet of the Apes? I hope they have it in the film selection.”
If that’s too subtle, you can always go WMD-style and talk shop enthusiastically for two hours straight like you’re never going to shut up, then excuse yourself to go to the washroom. I guarantee you that he will have suddenly fallen asleep by the time you get back to your seat. Use your youthful stamina to crush him.
On terra firma, there are some diplomatic ways to signal — without committing career suicide — that you will not be at his disposal 24/7. Set expectations early about personal plans during the week. When I travelled with my boss, we flew in on a Saturday so we had all of Sunday for sight-seeing. I made it known early on that I was meeting a friend who was going to show me around on Sunday.
Expect to be fair game for breakfasts and lunches since this is during the workday. But if you want to get away for a couple of evenings, don’t wait until an hour before dinner. Get it out there as soon as possible that you will be joining friends for dinner and quickly follow up with a polite inquiry about what his dinner plans are. Remember that he is likely to invite colleagues from your London office and clients to dinner, so your presence will not be missed on those nights.
If he is really sticky, eat some British food. Apparently, it can be pretty nasty, hence augmenting your chances of developing a mysterious gastro-intestinal ailment that excuses you from dinner. Bon voyage!
Sandra Rosier is a former Supreme Court of Canada clerk who has worked at large firms in Toronto and Boston. Having come to her senses, Sandra currently works as a tax advisor at a Toronto-based organization. Her etiquette column for lawyers appears every other Monday at lawandstyle.ca. Have a question for Sandra? Email us.
Photo: Jeff Hallam (via Wikimedia Commons)