Extreme interview preparation, part three

The final installment of Sandra's guide to surviving interviews
The final installment of Sandra's guide to surviving interviews

This is the final instalment of a three-part series to help you avoid or recover from the kind of interview tsunami that can sink you. No one ever thinks that it will happen to them during an interview…and then it happens. Fortunately, humour, preparedness and a cool head can overcome almost any interview disaster.

Part Three: Interview Tsunami Preparation Guide

  • Let’s start with a classic: you are so nervous that you knock over your glass of wine and it spills onto your interview’s Armani suit. Yikes. This kind of blunder can only really hurt you if things weren’t going well to begin with. The fact that you are at dinner gives you an edge. After you apologize, move on. Lesson: don’t consume alcohol during the interview process. It cannot make you better.
  • This series would not be complete without vomit. It happens more often than you think. Candidates are exhausted, stressed, hungry or bloated and finally…they lose it. Right on the shoes of the managing partner. There is no recovering from this. Exit stage left and pray that you did not completely, er…blow your chances. Again, kids: stress + fatigue + booze = not good.

  • You can always count on some curmudgeonly partner asking you what you think of the latest Supreme Court of Canada decision. Naturally, your mind goes blank. When you don’t know the answer, be honest, deflect and redirect to a safe zone. For example, “I didn’t read that one, but it seems like the court is trending towards shorter black letter–type judgments…” This demonstrates that you are honest, knowledgeable and in control.
  • A cool head and the higher moral ground must prevail when responding to inappropriate questions, like whether you plan to have many kids or where were you born. Sigh. Though it would be satisfying to respond with, “Who gives a crap and it’s none of your business,” my canned answer to that second question is: “When I was two years old, my parents moved to Canada and I decided to come with them.” Polite chuckle. Next question.
  • The guy who is interviewing you pops a tent. Yep. Happened to a friend of mine during a summer interview. First, keep your eyes on his face. Since there is little blood left in his brain, try to wrap up the interview as cordially as possible or excuse yourself and go to the ladies’ room. Personally, I would opt for an o-jigi-style bow rather than handshake once the interview is over.
  • Sweat. Lots of sweat in the form of shiny brows, armpit rings and slick noodle limp hands. This is what a former recruitment director cites as the most consistent problem during her years of interviewing. Boys, one word: undershirt. There is a reason why men from tropical climes wear them. Or bring a spare shirt. Carry cloth handkerchiefs to soak it up. Use the most powerful aluminum-based cancer-causing deodorant on the market. Throw it out when your interviews are over.
  • I saw a guy trip over a carpet and fall kneeling before a partner. He didn’t miss a beat. “This is how we say hello in Ottawa,” he quipped. Way to turn an embarrassing blunder into an opportunity by using humour!

Sandra Rosier is a former Supreme Court of Canada clerk who has worked at large firms in Toronto and Boston. Having come to her senses, Sandra currently works as a tax advisor at a Toronto-based organization. Her etiquette column for lawyers appears every other Monday at lawandstyle.ca. Got a question for Sandra? Email us.