The snow is gone. The sun is out. Grass is starting to make an appearance. Buds are blooming on trees. Finally! Good-bye, winter. Hello, Hayfever. For everyone who welcomes the fade-out of the long, harsh winter, there are those of us spring allergy sufferers with mixed feelings about the warmer weather. No more winter parkas and toques – great! Beginning of sneezing and itchy eyes – not so good…
Thankfully, there is relief. While the Watercooler may not alleviate your throbbing sinuses, it will provide you with some temporary reprieve from rubbing your eyes raw.
Cream is Fatty → Fat Rises to the Top – Being overweight is never a good thing. It’s hard on your health and there is plenty of social stigma to go around. Now a study has shown that being overweight hinders those climbing the executive ladder, especially those who are…wait for it…female! Not that that was ever really a big surprise. Chalk another one up against us women in addition to lower pay, workplace harassment, and lower representation. Chip on my shoulder? Yeah, shuddap and pass me a cheeseburger!
In the Name of Justice – Would you stick your head in a toilet? That is precisely what a Wisconsin prosecutor is asking willing women who are 5 foot 8 and weigh 140 pounds to do in order to assist in a high-profile homicide trial. The prosecutor is searching for volunteers to debunk the claims of the accused, 42-year old Douglas Plude, that his 28-year old wife committed suicide by taking migraine medication and drowning herself in the toilet. Dismissed by the defense as junk science, others view it as essential in flushing out all plausible sequences of events.
Assault with a Deadly Feline – Project Runway reality TV contestant, Kenley Collins, landed on her feet after receiving a reduced sentence for the initial charge of second degree felony assault for hurling her cat at her fiancee during a heated argument. Collins was sentenced to a $120 fine and a two-year protection order barring her from any contact with her relieved ex.
Not All Fun and Games – Nadya Suleman has a bad rep. In case you’ve been sequestered from the recent gossip, Suleman has been dubbed by the media as ‘Octomom,’ the mother of 6 young children, who recently gave birth to octuplets. Yes, that’s 14 bundles of joy who all need to go potty and have their cereal poured. All of that aside, a Texas video game company, Super Happy Fun Fun Inc. (good name!), recently filed a trade-mark application for ‘Octomom’ to be used in connection with video games, including an iPhone app that lets the gamer press on Fertile Myrtle’s belly to release babies that must be caught by Fertile Myrtle’s mother. (I’m not joking and it gets worse.) Each baby earns the gamer “welfare money” with gamers e
arning extra points for paparazzi shots, which can then be redeemed for fertility shots. (Yeah, it’s terrible.) And while Suleman’s actions are completely incomprehensible by most and considered unconscionable by some, that videogame is downright offensive. So back to the law, Suleman filed her trade-mark application to use ‘Octomom’ for diapers, etc. after Super Happy Fun Fun Inc. filed theirs, so there’s a trade-mark fight a-brewin’ to own the rights to use ‘Octomom’ for commercial gain. Glad to know that both parties are thinking of the kids.
Revenge of the Nerd Who Will Mess You Up Good – For everyone who’s been bullied growing up, a 15-year old Keswick, Ontario high school student did what most would have loved to have done. The bullied student, who immigrated with his family from South Korea and is also accomplished in Taekwondo, returned his bully’s racist epithet and punch in the face with a quick left-handed strike that promptly broke the bully’s nose. The high school student is suspended, faces expulsion, and has been charged by the York Regional Police with one count of assault causing bodily harm. But his parents and schoolmates stand behind him. Let me just say that integrity is alive and well in York.
The Watercooler is a monthly feature written by Ottawa lawyer AAK!