Autumn’s here. And so is election season. The leaves are changing, sweater weather, blahblahblah. Let’s get to the good stuff. And I mean the stuff about the one, the only: Sarah Palin. Not everything revolved around that spitfire this past month, but just about – or at least the more interesting stuff. And yes, yes – I haven’t forgotten. We in Canada are also gearing up for an election. Zzzzzzz … excuse me. And yes yes, I know that we’re grappling with some very important issues and this is a turning point in the Canadian political rubric, but again, I reiterate: zzzzzzz. The Stephen Harper just can’t compare with a (sort of) rock star like Sarah Palin (Yah, I’m from Alaska, hey.). But say what? The Side Side-Part’s side-part is more on the side? Noooo…get out of town. Alright – all sarcasm aside, please read on to find out the salacious bits, political morsels, and oddball crumbs that happened during the month-that-was: September.
Sarah Palin, Not-So-Plain, But Very Average – OK, that’s not such a nice thing to write, but when you’re batting in the major leagues like she has chosen to do, everything that she has done and will do is up for scrutiny. Like major scrutiny. The kind of scrutiny that has the media covering everything from where she gets her hair done to every single pseudo-scandal that whispers her name. And right now, Sarah Palin is shaking in her bouffant – and rightly so. The media have been quite unkind – and to continue in this vein, The Watercooler presents some of the best of the craziest of Sarah Palin:
Under her watchful eye as Mayor of Wasilla:
- Mayor Palin passed a law that required rape victims to purchase their own rape kits.
- Book censorship at the local library → Tommy and Jane are no longer able to read ‘Daddy’s Roommate’
- Rampant cronyism and personal vendettas (Hey Fey, you’re next!)
While as Governor of Alaska:
- Troopergate!
- Affair with Todd “First Dude” Palin lookalike: Brad “The Other Dude” Hanson
- Supported scientists paid by the oil industry, who suggested that polar bears were not endangered, and attempted to overturn their status on the endangered species list
- Palin’s venture into enemy territory in Iraq…erm..Kuwait …
- Extensive foreign travel to an airport refueling in Ireland and back
The ugly and somewhat far-fetched – just for good measure:
- Sarah Palin is not the mother of Trig – eldest daughter, Bristol, is. There are reports swirling on the internet of the strange lead-up to the delivery (Palin gave speech in Dallas after water broke, then proceeded to fly back to Alaska), Bristol’s 5-month convalescence due to extreme mononucleosis just before Trig’s birth, and no record of the birth at the hospital. Yes, this is indeed crazy talk, but if the pieces are true, then it does gives one pause. And really – the thought never crossed your mind?
And last, but certainly not least, since we were the first:
- Creationism!
A little bit of fact, a little bit of fiction? Whatever the solid truth, it’s time to retire the word ‘maverick’ when describing Palin. She really truly is anything but. But all jabs aside (only for a moment), is she a strong and smart person? Sure. But she’s same old same old – only this time in designer skirt suits. Republicans are hoping their Sarah can curry favor with the Hillary-ites and all those thirsty for the rhetoric of change. Hopefully her record (and Tina Fey’s bang-on impressions) will send the right message to US voters. In the meantime, my fingers will remain crossed lest America get it wrong again.
Does That Sound Familiar? – The Side Side-Part pulls a Biden. Conservative strategist, Owen Lippert, resigns after it’s leaked to the media that Lippert plagiarized nearly half of Harper’s 2003 speech calling for more troops in Iraq word-for-word from a speech given just days before by Australian Prime Minister John Howard.
Oops, Why Did I Do It Again? – A Whitby, Ontario couple receives a $50,000 award against their doctor for afailed vasectomy after getting pregnant six months following the procedure.
Fast Asleep High In the Sky – A pilot and his co-pilot are suspended after they fall asleep during a 45-minute flight from Honolulu to Hilo.
Whewf! – Jose Cruz, a 34-year old man from West Virginia, was relieved of his battery charge for allegedly passing gas and fanning it toward a police officer while being arrested for drunk driving.
The Watercooler is a monthly feature written by Ottawa lawyer AAK!