February is the month of groundhogs and love (a good combo in my mind), and even though it is the shortest month of the year – hoo-doggies – it was jam-packed this past month. From the end of one technology to the resignation of a rivaled dictator to the sordid birth of a lucky girl – it was more than opportune that the rammed month-that-was had an extra leap-year day attached. With the prospect of an early spring, thanks to our friend, Wiarton Willie, February started off on a good note and steadily ran its course to completion with interesting and arguably world-changing tidbits happening throughout. Read on to find out what happened during the month that was: February.
My [Sentimental or Optimistic] Compatriots – Cynicism be gone! More than half of Canadians believe in love at first sight. We may not be the most powerful country, but we do believe in love. John Lennon would be proud.
Blackberry Be Gone! – Immigration Canada has issued a directive against employee Blackberry use during meetings, overnight, and on weekends and holidays in an effort to maximize productivity and work-life balance. I say here-here to the directive and await the private practice of law to follow suit with the Feds.
Feeling Blu? – Each side had carefully crafted a master plan – recruiting equal parts brains and brute. Both sides were heavily funded and every tactic was employed. There were no major casualties, but the wounds will be felt by generations to come. The battle fought may or may not be remembered in history books as having been fair, but only side could prevail. HD DVDs will no longer be made in favor of the Blu Ray disc. Great. Good times. Woo.
More Important News – Kosovo has become an independent state much to the chagrin of Serbia and Russia. In yo face, Putin!
Say What? – Perhaps there is some truthiness to Pettitte’s misremembering as Clemens maintains? For surely, Clemens’ name has and will continue to be plutoed all over the information superhighway much like Y2K, weapons of mass destruction,and metrosexuals have in the past.
Resignation of Castro – In an odd embrace of technology, Fidel Castro announced his resignation as Cuba’s President in a statement posted on his party’s website. Amid failing heath, Fidel Castro steps down as Cuba’s leader after 49 years.
Who’s Your Daddy? – Texas-born, now Vancouver-based investment banker, Jack Worthington II, claims that he is the illegitimate love child of U.S. President, John F. Kennedy. Obviously the Kennedy estate vehemently denies the claim … but could he be? The legendary lover of women, could quite possibly be the father of a current Vancouverite. That’d be pretty cool, but two words: paternity test.
Ummm…For Real? – An Ontario Court found in favor of a defendant in his claim that he suffers from a condition known as sexsomnia in the rape of a woman in the Beaches area of Toronto. Induced by alcohol and magic mushrooms, the defendant claimed that he unknowingly raped a woman while he was asleep. Sexsomnia is a rare sleeping disorder that affects approximately 3 in 100 people. Door locks are always good. And the case is being appealed as expected.
WTF?!? – Farhood Azarsina, a 25-year old Iranian in Newfoundland, completing a PhD in engineering at Memorial University was sentenced to two months for sexually assaulting a woman in a shared elevator. In defence of his actions, Azarsina said: “You can’t expect all males to control themselves when the breasts are out.” Excuse me?
Against All Odds – A premature baby survives the wickedest entry into the world. The baby’s mother unexpectedly gave birth and then passed out while using the restroom aboard an overnight train near Ahmadabad, India. Since some toilets on Indian trains open directly onto the tracks, the baby slipped through and was left to fend for herself for nearly two hours before she was found. Amazingly, she is in good health and expected to survive.
The Watercooler is a monthly feature written by Ottawa lawyer AAK!