I am completely, utterly obsessed with music even though I am completely, utterly tone deaf. Which is precisely why I should never, under any circumstances, sing in front of an audience — even if it’s just karaoke and I have someone with me, backing me up. So why did I decide to break out into song in a tiny karaoke room in Koreatown with Minnie Driver and her supporting band as the sole audience member a few years ago? Blame it on the booze. And the high of somehow getting asked by the band, after their show at Lee’s Palace, to party karaoke-style.
Minnie showed up a quarter of the way through the night and she was quite gracious about my painful rendition of “Like a Virgin.” But I still wish the floor would have swallowed me whole in that moment up front; up until I pranced on stage and opened my mouth, the entire room had been cheering and dancing and loving every minute of our private party. But when I arrived at the front of the room, gripping the mic in my hand? Total silence. Jaws dropped. The guitarist plugged his ears. I think I broke a few eardrums. But yes, Minnie was nice about it. She even humoured me as I professed my broken heart over her loss of the Best Supporting Actress Oscar.
After that night, you’d think I’d give up on the whole karaoke thing. While I refuse to sing in public anymore, I still love, love, love going to karaoke and watching more capable people tear it up on stage. Tonight, for example, I’m pumped for Hip-Hop Karaoke (HHK) at Revival. Remember those scenes in 8 Mile when Eminem freestyled to a pounding room of supporters going nuts? It’s like that at HHK, minus the freestyling.
Participants choose from a long list of hip-hop hits with everything from 2Pac to Zhane, They’re given a piece of paper with lyrics, though most practice first and rap from memory. And tonight, the special guest host is Chali 2na of Jurassic 5 fame, whose lyrics I quoted in my post on black history month two weeks ago. Chali 2na will also perform, along with local hip-hop icon Abdominal. Doesn’t sound like a super lawyerly event, but I have heard from a very reliable source that a certain Osgoode law professor has been known to rhyme publicly at HHK, so you never know who you’ll see up there.
Tonight is also karaoke night at the Gladstone’s Melody Bar, which is less hip hop and more rock, less hip and a little more hipster. The vibe is laid-back, and karaoke at the Gladstone always ends up being a fun night. Proof: NOW Magazine has voted it the best karaoke bar in the city for the last seven years.
If performing in front of a crowd isn’t your thing, consider going the Koreatown route and renting a little room for you and your crew, pre- or post-bar, so you can have your own private karaoke session. My favourite spot is XO Karaoke Bar at Bloor St. and Christie St. (This is where I almost died of embarrassment, but I still love the place.) There are 13 rooms available in three different sizes, complete with full bar service — in case you need to loosen up before you sing your little heart out.
So start singing. Just try not to embarrass yourself in front of any celebrities.
Leanne Milech is a lawyer turned freelance writer. She reviews theatre, publishes children’s books and spends her free time hunting for Toronto’s best cultural escapes. Her column appears every Friday here on lawandstyle.ca.
Photo by Niels Heidenreich